Just how often does Fr. Nick get kidnapped? Otherwise Engaged,Part 4
Unstoppable Force Meets Unmovable Object makes for great rom-com. Poor Ellie and Todd.
Unfortunately, her strategic swoon accomplished nothing except worrying her fiancé.
Ellie had used a meditative exercise to put her body in a deeply relaxed, near comatose state. Her Logic first officer on the USS Mary Sue had taught her the exercise, which normally took half an hour to enter the Repose. Over the years, Ellie had learned to do it in seconds, precisely for times like this. It was her own version of the “Help! Help! I’m sick” diversion. To her captors, she would look deathly ill and helpless, but she was aware of her surroundings and able to bring herself back at a moment’s notice.
She’d hoped it would get her out of the brig where she had a chance to escape and release the others. Instead, her fiancé was shaking her shoulder and calling her name frantically while the priest and captain argued over her price for taking Ellie to Sickbay.
“Celeste! That is not happening. I am a priest now. Where’s your sense of decency?”
“One of your ‘flock’ is dying on the cold, hard deck. Where’s your sense of mercy?”
“It wouldn’t change anything.”
“Oh, you said that every time we broke up. Then we remembered how much we loved each other.”
“I did love you—or at least, I thought I did. Then, I discovered the truest love of all.”
“What? Who is she?”
“God, Celeste! I mean, God!”
Oh, this is going nowhere. Ellie made herself come around. She let out a little moan for dramatic effect.
“My love!” Todd sat her up and embraced her tightly. “You scared me!”
In the other cell, Father murmured a prayer of relief.
Captain Celeste snorted. “So, not so sick, after all.”
“It must have been the shock,” Ellie told her. “Our priest—a former pirate? And your ex? What’s next—that you’ve been wasting your captaincy chasing a man who doesn’t want you, anymore?”
Now Celeste was the one shaking and clenching her fists. Ellie gave her a vapid half-smile. She may not have played the Mean Girl in high school, but she’d been victim often enough to know how to do it.
Then, the captain calmed and gave Ellie a Mean Girl smile of her own. “He’ll come around…with the right persuasion.”
“Are you going to kill us then?”
“Oh, honey, Cutter always had a thing against killing. It would just make him more stubborn. Besides, that’s too fast.” Her smile turned malicious.
Todd stepped between them. “Whatever you’re planning, leave her alone. Take me instead.”
The captain snorted, “See, Cutter? That’s loyalty.”
“Yes it is,” he agreed. “That’s also what got me stranded on that planet.”
And just like that, she went from Malevolent Pirate Captain to Petulant Jilted Girlfriend. “You just won’t let that go, will you? You were the one who insisted on staying behind to cover us!”
He sighed. “Celeste, I’m not angry about that. In the long run, it was the best thing to ever happen to me—”
She threw up her hands. “Yes, yes! God-God-Calling… Whatever! I’ll give you one hour to change your mind—and to consider how I’ll fleece your flock.”
She spun on her heel and left. Despite everything, she put a little sashay into her stride. To no effect—her intended observer was already pacing his cell, muttering prayers under his breath.
When the door closed, the guard relaxed and chuckled. “There’s still no one that gets under her skin like you do, Cutter.”
“‘Father Nicholas,’ please, Bradward? ‘Cutter’ was a whole different life.”
“I don’t understand,” Ellie-as-Elizabeth said to the guard, Bradward. “She’s obviously a woman obsessed. I guess I can understand that. But why would the rest of you follow her on this, this fool’s errand?”
He shrugged. “This ain’t the norm. She’s a good captain. Most of the time, we do pirate stuff—very profitable pirate stuff, especially now that we’ve left the Guild. Brilliant move that. More larceny, less killing. But now and then, she gets a lead on One—Father’s—location and off we go. It’s kind of a break, usually. Light guard duty, be ready with the tissues when he escapes…”
“Wait! What? This has happened before?”
Ellie turned wide eyes toward the priest.
He nodded, embarrassed. “Twice.”
Bradward chuckled. “Once, he tricked her and got away. The second time, he drugged her drink and snuck away. We found the little vial in your robe-thingy, by the way.”
“Cassock, and I know,” he grumped.
Bradward had warmed up to his topic, pulling out a chair and sitting in it backwards so he could sling his rifle across his back. “You’re not getting away this time. No room of your own; you’ll be staying in the brig unless you’re with her, and she’s increased the security around her quarters. She even put electrified grills inside the vents. You should have heard Th’Pula cussing as he put those in. Doors are DNA coded. And now that she’s got hostages…” He raised and lowered his shoulders in the universal language of hopelessness. “I know it probably doesn’t help, but I’m sorry it happened this way.”
“Then help us!” Ellie’s impassioned cry was met with laughter.
“Well, this is wonderful,” Ellie wanted to fling her hands like Captain Celeste had, but instead, she stomped to the bed and sat down. Todd sat next to her. She leaned against his shoulder and he obligingly put his arms around her.
“We’re in trouble, aren’t we?” he asked as he kissed her head.
“Any ideas? Because otherwise, I may cry for my mother.” She let out a pretend sob.
“The Truth will set us free?” he muttered, and she nodded. Discovering she was the daughter of the ambassadors to one of the founding planets in the Union could make them more valuable—and less likely to be maimed before being ransomed.
But Todd grunted a negative. “I don’t think she cares about the truth.”
“Others might,” she said.
He kissed her head to hide his words. “Enough, though? Let’s wait a bit, see what happens.”
He pulled her back to look into her eyes. “We’ll figure this out—together.”
He pretended to wipe her tears, and kissed her gently.
Then Father Nicholas spoke up. “You know, there’s no reason we can’t continue your marriage prep. Why don’t we start with something simple—what is it that you see in the other person that makes you think they’re your life’s mate?”
As one, they turned to gape at the priest.
Just then, the doors opened. They all gave a little start, thinking Captain Celeste had changed her mind about the hour’s wait, but instead, a small robot trundled into the room, whistling to itself in merry indifference.
“Hey! That’s a Janbot Seven-Eighty!” Todd said. “That was my first janbot.”
He glanced at Ellie significantly.
As casually as she could, Ellie rose and went toward the security field, gently pulling Todd with her. She released his hand. If they lowered the security field to let the cleaning robot in, she’d rush the guard.
Bradward seemed to guess her thoughts. “Relax, Missy. It ain’t here for you. It’s giving the other cell a deep clean. Once was not enough.”
“Chad?” Father Nicholas guessed, and Bradward laughed his affirmative. Father sighed, “I spoke to him last time I was here about his drunkenness. I thought he’d had a change of heart.”
“Oh, he was sober for a couple of months; then, you know…”
“The stress?” Todd asked conversationally. “I had a friend like that. Big Cajun guy. He used to say, ‘When you’re up to your ass in alligators, soup don’t cut.’”
“Uh, sure.” Bradward gave Todd a confused look, but over in the empty cell, the janbot paused, its lights glowing in a kind of reboot cycle.
Ellie felt her heart swell with love for her clever man.
Father must have noticed, too, though he gave no sign of it. Instead, he said to Bradward, “So what happened with Chad? Do you think he’d want to talk to me again?”
Bradward shrugged. “I can ask. I think you’ll be here awhile this time. Sorry.”
Father spread his hands in a gesture of generosity. “Then I’m going to do the most good for the most people I can while I’m here. While these two are thinking about the question I posed, come tell me what’s going on with you. Did you and Sh’Zeeah work things out?”
“Nah, we broke it off hundays ago—not long after you escaped, in fact. She took a position on the Death by Poverty—a Profitti ship, can you believe it?”
“Commerce is the ultimate piracy,” Father quipped. “Isn’t that one of their tenants? But that’s crazy. Sounds like you dodged a raser blast there.”
“You’re telling me! Would you believe…”
As Bradward got more animated about the topic of his ex-girlfriend, Ellie moseyed to where she’d have a better angle to rush him. She gave Todd a wink.
“Janbot, come clean our cell now,” Todd said.
It took a bit for Todd’s command to make it to Bradward’s brain, then another second for him to react. He snapped at him, “I told you, that’s not gonna happen.”
But janbot had already whizzed over and was letting down the shield to enter.
“Hey!” Bradward started to rise from his chair.
However, Ellie had been ready to charge. As soon as the field went down, she rushed him, ramming him in the side just as he’d started to stand, his legs still straddling the seat. They went down in a tumble of arms and legs. He swung at her, but the angle was bad. Hers was better. With a sharp upper-cut, she knocked him out.
Penguin Ransom!
In 2028, going to Antarctica with some friends. I fully expect penguins to kidnap me, so I’m starting to raise the ransom money now. If you enjoy my stories, would you contribute to my eventual release from the wild?